whine and cheese

I'm not feeling good these days. I don't feel like doing much of anything except the things I really need to do. That's about all I have the energy and motivation for -- just the absolute necessities of daily living. There are so many things I want to do, but simply can't bring myself to get around to doing them...oh so many things...... Like taking pictures of the gorgeous flowers springing up in our yard, calling people I need to call, picking things up that need to be picked up, updating my blog, among so many other things.... I feel especially yucky today and can't seem to make it go away. So -- I'm updating my blog with my whining...but ending with a lil "cheese" since there is almost always good with every bad experience. This is definitely an experience that has so much good along with lotsa bad. While the last few weeks of pregnancy are incredibly difficult, it is even more difficult to forget what a blessed, privileged and joyful experience it is.

However...I always like to "keep it real" and let people know what's really goin' on...... So here is my whine and cheese served up for you as I enter my 34th week of being preggers:

WHINE:
What I won't miss about being pregnant:
- the nausea and yucky taste in my mouth all the time
- the coughing...the constant, horrible coughing.....
- the waddle walk
- the very achy, painful, stretched out, bulky belly that feels like it can't stretch out any more, and then it does....
- feeling HUGE and hearing so many people tell me how "small" I look (seriously, nobody will offend me by telling me I look huge -- even if you don't think I look huge, just tell me I do, ok? Cuz man, I FEEL huge...in a very uncomfortable hugeness way, not an "I'm so fat" way.)
- the puffiness

(this is how I feel -- pretty much all of the time)
- the immobility
- the dread of having to bend over and pick something up
- being out of breath all the time
- the incredibly painful heartburn (which I have NEVER had in either of my other pregnancies)
- the difficulty in finding any sort of comfortable position at night -- or during the day, for that matter
- the horrid sinus headaches -- and all the issues with my sinuses that happens with pregnancy
- the constant peeing...and not necessarily always in the toilet.....
- bumping into everything -- wide load a'comin!
- realizing what a slob I am when I look down and see crumbs and drips on my belly

CHEESE:
What I will miss about being pregnant:
- the kicks and punches and wiggles of two separate lil babes in my belly
- all the new things I'm learning about being pregnant with twins
- the anticipation of what is to come.....
- the joy of sharing this anticipation with my hubby
- hearing my hubby tell me how great I look, knowing it comes from a very loving heart
- the joy I see in some mother's eyes when they look at me and ask when I'm due (and then the look they give me when I tell them I am having twins...when the "joy" in the eyes completely goes away...nuthin' like the understanding of a mother!)
- being able to use the excuse that I'm pregnant when I am forgetful, spacey, slow, etc. -- when really that's how I am all the time.....
- the fun my kidlings are having with everything about my pregnancy

My girl wakes up way too early in the morning and since I need to lay in bed awhile to not only adjust to being awake, but to simply enjoy my last few minutes laying down getting relief from all the pregnancy woes, I have her crawl into bed and snuggle as long as she will last....which usually isn't very long. However, this morning she was in an especially snuggly mood and Mr. Incredible actually wanted to take some pictures...so he did.

I still simply can not believe that I will have two more lil ones to love, to snuggle, to share in all the joys (and frustrations!) of being their mommy.... It still feels VERY unreal to me that I am pregnant -- as horridly uncomfortable as I am all the time -- and will be adding two more bundles of pure joy to my world. Since I still haven't fully grasped that I have the two I have, I seriously doubt I will ever grasp that I am a mother of four children (yes, I have said it many times before, and I will be saying it many times more). I have no doubt that this is a dream come true that will always feel like a dream...in good moments and in bad.....