birthday girl!

My girl turned 4 yesterday. Four candles to blow out:


She wanted a caterpillar cake that looked like this (she picked it out of a cake book I have):

I had an especially rough day yesterday. I feel like the beginning of each week I make a major drop into the next level of difficulty of this pregnancy. I'm in a lot of pain and have barely any energy or motivation to get much of anything done. But...there are cakes to be decorated and parties to be had...and it's very difficult to stop a mom from making that happen!! I didn't quite go all out with the cake decorating the way I had envisioned...but she loved it and that is all that matters...and I truly wasn't sure if I had the energy to put it all together...but I did. *phew*

This is the last birthday we will be celebrating as a family of four...on her fourth birthday (as Soren points out with his four fingers).


Soren giving his traditional birthday hug...such a great big bro! And I love their friend in the background giving herself a hug watching them...sooooo dang cute!

I do home-school pre-school for my girl and two other girls her age and I invited them and their families to her birthday bash:


Just like I never thought I would have twins, I never thought I would have a baby girl. I was convinced she was a boy when she was in my belly. But...out came my girl...and I thought Jim was joking when he announced her arrival. But he obviously wasn't. That's why I don't want to know the sexes of my babies...I just love that moment of surprise when they come out and their daddy announces if we have a son or a daughter...and next time that happens it will be two separate moments within minutes of each other. How cool is that????

Probably as cool as it was for me when I realized that I would love having a girl way more than I ever thought I would.

One week old.


One year old.

I honestly and truly never thought I would love having a girl as much as I do. Having said that, she is an incredibly difficult child for me. In so. many. ways.

But....

....then she looks at me with those eyes....



And I fall in love with her with such a profound and deep love that only a mom can have for a girl like her...who has yet to be potty trained...and who pushes every single button...bad buttons...reeeeeally bad buttons...so much of the time....

But she never ceases to make me melt, fill me with pure joy and I love her more every. single. day.