limbo

In dictionary.com, "limbo" is defined, in the third and fourth definitions, as:

3. An intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place.

4. A place or state of imprisonment or confinement.

Those are both pretty darn accurate descriptions of where I am right now. Only one potential buyer has come to see our home (only just this past weekend! After being on the market for 3 months!), Jim is home one weekend a month -- except for the bonus week Hurricane Sandy gave us -- and neither one of us have any idea how long our family is going to be apart...but we know it will be a very long time. We will be here at least until June since we may as well keep the kidlings in school until the end of their school year. After that, if we haven't sold our home, who the heck knows. Most likely we will lose quite a bit of money in the process of desperately trying to sell our home so we can afford to finally buy one in Illinois.

It seems so strange to live in a home that feels so perfect for our family, in a location we love so much, with a garden so perfect for my farm boy, with so many friends we love and cherish, and know that we have to leave it all within the next year. It feels like when you try to slooooowwwwly take a bandaid off of a bad wound, rather than ripping it off and getting it over with -- it may be more painful, but at least the pain isn't agonizingly long and like the dang bandaid will never come off....while at the same time thinking maybe the longer it takes to get it off, the better it will feel????

Yep. That's about right.

So, as that bandaid has slooooowly been ripping off, here is a glimpse into the past 3 months without a husband living at home (since I know you are just dying to know....):

We had a very brief snowstorm early in November...and haven't had one since.

Our first -- and only? -- snowman of the winter!

My snow-loving pup.

I have been canning jams and tomatoes like crazy...knowing they will be the last from our NH garden. I made peach jam from the very first peaches from our orchard...for the first and last time..... *sigh*

raspberry and peach jam

This is but a sampling of the variety of veggies I cut up, pureed, froze, cooked, canned, etc...etc...., but barely a handful in number compared to the bushels and bushels and bushels and bushels and bushels of veggies Mr. Incredible grew and picked...and left for me to prepare for the winter.....

I have also been doing quite a bit of baking to keep me sane...and well-padded for the winter.....

Three different caramels (apple cider, salted chocolate and regular) I made and mailed to some friends who have had an even tougher few months than I.

The best pumpkin muffins in the entire world. I make them every fall...and as long as I have any frozen, pureed pumpkin I prepped from the garden. They are just as good with canned, store bought pumpkin though.

And while I work in the kitchen, my boys make messes everywhere they go. The messes never -- EVER -- end.

Yep. An entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet. Twice. In one day. The second time the consequences were a bit more harsh...therefore it hasn't happened since. But I ain't holding my breath that it won't happen again!

Because it is December, it is time for constant, all day, every day Christmas music (Hallelujah! Oh how I love me some Christmas music!!!!) and the magic of Christmas with four little ones. I barely decorated this year since my storage space is jam-packed with stuff I had started to box up for the move...that I thought would come sooner...and I couldn't get motivated enough to dig through the boxes to get out all the decorations...and then have my house look "cluttered" if a potential buyer were to actually come look at our house...... BUT, my children would not be able to live without their Christmas village our dear and generous friends gave us -- and add to every year. All four of them spend hours in this little spot. Unfortunately the boys have terrorized the village to the point where it looks a bit like Hurricane Sandy came through...they simply can not resist touching and destroying exploring. Besides, it's Christmas, and everything Christmas is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed.

 At about 4pm every, single day, this is how I feel:

I simply want to drop down and rest and let the world pass me by.

But I don't...because, every, single day there is still homeworking, dinner prepping, feeding, cleaning, screaming, whining, reprimanding, crying, consoling, playing, cleaning, bathing, dressing, reading (x3...once to each age group), singing, rocking, praying, good nighting, kissing, hugging, one-on-one-ing, cleaning, and, finally, snuggling into my sweet, sweet bed......with my laptop so I can catch up on emails, reading, tivo'ing and, finally tonight, update my blog.

Sometimes, just sometimes, my little man (or little lady...who is learning to read so fast!) fills in for my big man and reads to my boys to lighten my evening load.

But I sure miss my big man. It's so dang lonely being a single mom. Kudos to all who do it, have done it and continue to do it without an end in sight. At least I know my Mr. Incredible is waiting for me in Chicago. Some day his wife and children will join him and we will be whole again. Some day.

In the mean time, I will try to appreciate all the moments of Christmas joy that I can with four lil ones. However, lately, I have been especially enjoying the Christmas moments when the children are nestled all snug in their beds.....

Out of the blue last night they decided they both wanted the same crib. So I let them both have it. And they slept just fine. Thank heavens.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!